The Aching In My Bones.

I'm afraid of the dark and of the shadows that always creep through my head at night. Of the feel of the scream that comes from deep within my bones, shattering my skull. The nightmares eat me alive, and I have nowhere to turn, not at 2:53 am. My heart beat keeps me awake and that's the only way I know I'm still alive.

(I'm terrified of the night.)

I'm afraid of forgetting how I'm 'supposed' to act, and how I can't always be that way. I'm afraid of the people that want to know my life story. I'm afraid of fake-people that can't fathom thinking for themselves.

(I'm terrified of expectation.)

I'm afraid I'll fall in love one day, and not realize it. I'm afraid I'll run from it. I'm afraid of first kiss stories that are inevitable. I'm afraid of commitment.

(I'm terrified of love.) 

I'm afraid of rejection and memories and shuffling of feet on carpet. I'm afraid of bricks and cement cracks and the thoughts in your brain. I'm afraid of college and being alone. I'm afraid of buses and the interstate.

(I'm terrified of reality.)

I'm afraid you'll forget me, while I lie awake at night, every night, wondering what you're doing. Wondering if you remember me.

(I'm terrified of being forgotten.)